Falling
by Gene'sGenie1969
Summary: Since New York, Tony has been plagued by nightmares. Pepper is desperate to help him, but what can she do if he won't open up to her? Angsty Pepperony...


_I don't own any part of Marvel, although I do own a fairly impressive collection of Iron Man action figures (at my age I really should know better!) I do, however, enjoy borrowing Tony and Pepper and making them act out my little fantasies every once in a little while..._

_This story idea came to me after watching the IM3 trailer again, so I decided to spend a little while putting poor Tony and Pepper through this trauma and desperation. I hope they (and you, dear readers!) can forgive me..._

_Please read and (hopefully!) enjoy - reviews as always, greatly appreciated!_

_Lou x_

**FALLING**

Every night he has the same dream. If he is honest, it isn't a dream, it's a nightmare, and it is beginning to dominate his existence.

Every time the same - one moment he is invincible; indestructible…..flying into the stars, the hero, delivering the citizens on the ground from the unthinkable. Then the next moment, he is watching helplessly from outside of his lifeless body as it plummets downward in an endless freefall. There is a terrifying silence (he finds himself holding his breath, even though he knows what the outcome will be) Then, after what seems like an eternity, there is a roar and a _whoosh - _and the green rage which is Bruce (and yet not quite Bruce) tearing him out of the sky and launching him towards the concrete. And then….there is nothing but blackness. In this moment, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is dead….

Of course, he does not die….it is just a dream. But every night, in the small hours, he wakes, screaming, trembling, and often (God help him) sobbing. He flees his bed and hides in the workshop, studying blueprints and specifications until the terror subsides. He has begun to fear sleep. He works ridiculously late, and drinks excessively, attempting to exhaust himself into a dreamless slumber. He never succeeds. He has become short-tempered, anxious and agitated. He is no longer living, but merely existing.

Pepper is terrified at what he is becoming - he barely speaks, he is distant and hollow-eyed and every day she fears she is losing a little more of him. She desperately wants to fix this, to take away his pain and chase the demons from his sleep, but he will not let her in, will not tell her what terror is invading the night. Her heart is breaking and she is physically and emotionally shattered, and living a half life stepping on eggshells trying not to aggravate him. They cannot continue this way - something has to give.

When the storm finally breaks, it is thunderous.

It is 2am, and Pepper is disturbed by the familiar restlessness beside her. Tony is soaked with sweat, murmuring and shaking, fighting an unknown foe.

"NO!" he screams "NOOOOO!"

Pepper whispers softly and tries to soothe him with a cool hand on his forehead - he is flushed and feverish and his hand swipes her away in anger. The suddenness of the contact of his hand against her shoulder shocks her and she cries out. His eyes flash open in panic at what has happened, and he wakes to see the hurt and confusion on her face. He holds his head in his hands, still half asleep in confusion, and the realisation that he struck her shocks him.

"Pepper…oh God…" he gasps, looking up, horrified. But she has run from the room.

He follows her, calling her name, pleading. He tracks her down to the kitchen, hearing her sobs. She is standing at the sink and has her back to him, and he can see her shoulders shaking. Tentatively he moves behind her and touches her back, whispering her name. It is a gentle touch, a tender gesture, but she flinches and spins to face him. Her face is streaked with tears. A vivid red mark has begun to appear across her shoulder and he is, for once, lost for words.

Pepper, however, has words for them both. There is fire in her eyes and her voice trembles.

"Enough!" she hisses "enough now. There will be no more. This ends tonight!" She stalks from the room, her head held high, and he feels a fear greater than any he has known before. He has lost her. Fresh tears come to his eyes.

Once again he follows her. He finds her in the library, sitting in the window where the moonlight streams in and lights the room softly.

"Pepper…please let me apologise - Jesus, I am so sorry - I didn't mean to…...I wasn't awake…the dream…." everything he says sounds trite, pathetic, insufficient. For God's sake, he _hit _her….

She sighs sadly and moves to allow him to sit next to her.

"Tony….I know you weren't awake. I know you didn't mean it….but…."

He grasps her hand and holds it against his chest. She can feel his heart beating rapidly beneath his shirt as he interrupts.

"Then let me explain…please don't just leave me…don't go….." he is almost begging. He cannot lose her. She grips his hand tightly in hers, an incredulous look on her face.

"Leave you? What the hell…?" She echoes "Leave you? Why on earth…..?"

"You said it was the end…." he stumbles "you said…"

She grasps both his hands and turns to face him.

"I never said I was leaving you - I said this has to end. This. The nightmares. This….mess. We need to talk. You need to talk to me. Just tell me. Trust me" She runs a hand though her hair and as he looks at her he realises how drawn and tired she is. He has done this to her. He takes a breath and bares his soul to her.

He tells her about the dream, about the feeling of helplessness and terror. He tells her how he is supposed to be the hero, the all-powerful, and yet in the end it was his friend who saved his life. He tells her about the falling - the spiralling, never-ending descent toward the ground. He tells her of his fear of his own mortality. How he had thought he was invincible. He has come face to face with his own humanity and it has terrified him. He has realised that beneath the suit, he is just a man. He tells her that he is afraid to sleep, and, his worst fears, that he may be going insane and that he will lose her.

He talks for what feels like hours, and as his story unfolds, Pepper, dear Pepper sits silently and listens. When he has finished speaking, he turns to face her.

"I'm so sorry I shut you out. I should have…"

Pepper places a hand to his cheek and rubs her thumb against several days worth of stubble.

"Yes" she says softly "you should have. A wise man once said "no man is an island" It means nobody can go it alone. Tony, you're just one guy - an amazing, inspired, genius of a man, but just one man. You can't do it all. None of us can. We all need somebody - that's why you guys - the Avengers, are a team. Together. You need each other. And it's okay to need people."

Tony tries to speak but she hushes him with her fingers against his lips.

"People _need _people. I need you. I _love _you…." The word _love _hangs in the air. It is the first time either of them has said it. In the months since the rooftop kiss, there have been more kisses, and flirtation, and sex…but the word _love _has not been uttered.

A smile breaks across his face, the first in weeks. She had almost forgotten his smile. His eyes crinkle and brighten.

"You…._love_ me..?" He is incredulous. Moments before, he had thought this was the end, and now there is love…..? A soft laugh escapes her lips and she leans forward to rest her forehead against his.

"But of course…..what did you think this was all about if it wasn't love?"

It is as if he has been physically struck with the thought, and the fierceness of it startles him. He loves her. Loves her. This is what it has all been about.

"I love you - that was it….I dream I die…..and I will never be with you again….and the thought of that has been pulling me apart, Pepper! Damn you, this is all because I love you!" He pulls her to his chest, laughing with the relief of it all. He had thought he was a lesser man, that he was losing his mind, and yet it is his heart that he has lost.

His fingers tangle in her hair as he bends to catch her lips with his own. She tightens her grip on him and welcomes him home to her.

A sudden thought catches him unawares and he breaks the kiss.

"But supposing it happens again…..the dream….supposing it comes again and I…fall again. What if, when it comes to it, I can't be the man…the hero…that I need to be? What then?"

Pepper places her hands firmly either side of his face and makes him look directly at her. For a moment, he is vulnerable, uncertain, and she adores him all the more for his humanity.

"I will be here. I will always be here. And if it happens again…..I will catch you…."

It is as if a weight has been lifted from him as they move silently to the bedroom. He holds her as if she is the most precious thing in the world (for she is) and makes love to her. It is all about love. He is the hero, and it is his job to protect her, but he has come to realise that he needs her just as much as she needs him.

Much later, exhausted, wrapped around Peppers' body, Tony sleeps. And as he sleeps, he dreams, and finds himself again in the suit, miles above the ground, with the stars high above.

But this time, instead of falling, he is soaring.

**XXXXXXXXXXX**

_I hope this has brought a little bit of pleasure to someone out there in FF-land!_


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